clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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