By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
