what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
