Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
