.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I didn't notice because vodka
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
