Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
