North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
