They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
