Me. At least after what I've been through.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
