just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
