I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
