So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
