U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize