Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
