I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
