if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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