Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
