I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Too much gin, very little bucket
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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