Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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