Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
