You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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