He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
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