he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
