do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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