Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
