i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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