If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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