so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
