Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
