wat bout pragnant strippers??
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
