Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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