yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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