Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
