Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Randomize
