boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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