My nipple is on Facebook.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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