you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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