Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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