im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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