I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
