If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
