i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize