It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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