That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
