he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
