i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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