apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
