I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize