I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
