Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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