I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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