and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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