so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
