we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
