he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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