im so drunk with asians
where?
always
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
