just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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