just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
