She said her name was "party"
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
