whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Green mimosas i think yes
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
