Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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